Learning: The Key to Enjoying Life

I think I’ve finally got it.  I think I’ve finally figured it out.  I had an “ah ha” moment (thank you Jim Ryan for the terminology of Ah ha moments).  I think the key to enjoying life is learning.

Here’s some of my thoughts on how learning can help you enjoy life.  I realize it’s kind of simple:

• Learn what you need so you can enjoy life – there are so many resources out there.
• Learn from past mistakes
• Learn from life experiences:
  • Learn who you want to be friends with, who makes you happy, who makes your life better, who makes you feel badly about yourself and, therefore, who you should not “hang out” with
  • Learn what makes you happy
• Learn what you can to make your life better
• Learn what you need to make your life what you want it to be
• Learn to be what you want to be in your career
• Learn how to do something you’ve always wanted to do
• Learn to live in the “NOW” and to observe the little things that you’ve been missing because you’ve been too busy to notice
• Learn a new skill and how to make money
• Learn how to eat healthy
• Learn how to communicate with your kids
• Learn how to be a community again.

I’ve realized, as it pertains to myself, that stress is brought about by the pressure we put on ourselves in our daily lives.  And, when you look at society, I think this has a big part of why people are ill or depressed now-a-days.  How many of us can be described as “tormented” souls.

So, I’ve determined that, at least for me, learning is the key to enjoying life.  And, that’s the true reason I started www.timetoplay.com.  It was my way to learn how to enjoy life.  I’ve learned so much, so far, from the amazing professionals that are part of this people-helping-people project, and know I will continue to learn how to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance because of the amazing things they write.

And, I have learned from the books I have been reading that have been recommended to me as part of this project, books I would never have read.  Learning is the answer.

There is a solution to every problem, and, as Eckhart Tolle noted in his book, The Power of Now, problems are created by our mind.  So, I will continue to seek out what I need to “fix” the “problems” that I have created because I have not taken the time to learn a better way because of being too busy or too overwhelmed.  You know you get caught up in the momentum of the day to day.

Through all of these resources, I’ve learned that I can be more in control, and look forward to continue learning.

I had a “woo hoo” type of day.  A day that was so long in coming.  And, I know there will be more to come.

I invite you to learn with me and join my journey of discovery to enjoy life.  It’s Time to Play.

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Embrace the www.TimetoPlay.com philosophy — you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  It’s time to enjoy life.  Visit www.timetoplay.com to find resources for a better life.

P.S. — Totally check out the TimetoPlay.com discussion forum.  I’ve been working really hard to develop a discussion forum to include things we need to enjoy life.  It’s not a Facebook!  It’s a place to go and get what you need and then go out and do it!

The Power of Now — a journey to discovery

Don’t know if you have had the time to join in / read the book discussion re: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, but I’m up to page 65.  Here’s what I’m thinking about so far. . .

There are a lot of thought provoking statements in the pages I’ve read.  And, I start to wonder about how I do think and the “chatter” which has brought me so many good ideas and breakthroughs.  So where do you draw the line of what is good or bad chatter?  How do you turn it on or off as needed? Hopefully as I read more I’ll learn more I’ll figure this out.

Here’s an amazing, thought provoking paragraph (page 46-47):  “As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled.  Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things.  It needs to be both defended and fed constantly.  The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications. None of these is you . . . The ego’s needs are endless.  It feels vulnerable and threatened and so lives in a state of fear and want”.

Wow.  I totally saw myself in this.  Did you?  The pursuit of career, completing my masters, my job.  These things defined me, pushed me.  If I had a good day at work, I was in a good mood.  Bad day?  Bad mood.  HOWEVER, at what point do you need motivation to pursue a “life”, and at what point are you kind of a hump of flesh (very visual, huh?) sitting on a couch?  BUT, the state of fear and want sentence makes you think, too.  Is this pursuit what’s causing us so much stress?  What do we really need or want?  Is that what we need to evaluate to have a good quality of life?  At what point do we not strive?  I’m still reading, so, hopefully this will be answered.

The author continued to talk about the past, the future vs. the now.  The life situations we are dealing with, not the LIFE.  I’ll leave you with this:  (page 63) “Your life situation exists in time.  Your life is now.  Your life situation is mind-stuff.  Your life is real”.  The author notes that we need to realize that there are no problems, only situations to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with, and that problems are mind-made and need time to survive.

Hmmmm –

Book Discussion continues:  Go to Book Discussion

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Embrace the TimetoPlay.com philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  It is time to enjoy life.  Check out the resources on www.timetoplay.com to have a better life.

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle

I started reading The Power of Now yesterday.  I’m only up to page 14, and have seen some promise in this book as part of my journey of discovery.  Bare with me — I have to ramble on a bit to explain things, and I’ll get back to the reason I’m referencing this book in a few moments.  Trust me.

I have to start from the beginning a little so you can see where I’m headed with this.   In 2010 Doreen (by the way, this is about me — just figured I’d tell the story about myself in this manner to make it a little more interesting) was turning 45 years old.  She started to reevaluate her life, and, through situations and circumstance, started www.timetoplay.com, her quest for quality of life.  Don’t get me wrong, Doreen has a great life.  A wonderful, devoted husband, 3 lovely children and a house.  She knows she has more than many, but there was a hole.  Having worked in healthcare for over 24 years, Doreen has seen sick and sad and people with regrets.  If you read the about us on the timetoplay site you will see that she noted that she’s always been searching, never seeing the beauty, joy, etc. around her — she’s always been just too busy.  And, at this point, she realizes she’s created this “busy-ness” as her reality.

We know that so many things get in the way of enjoying life — something I’m sure a majority of the people feel day-to-day.  We just try to get through the day, right?  Getting up, getting everyone out of the house, getting to work, being exhausted, heading home, making/having dinner, falling into bed REALLY exhausted, and starting over the next day.  Days become weeks, the year flys by. . . you know what I’m talking about.  Doreen realized she missed out on the little things, the beautiful sunny day, the smile, the bird chirping.  So, here comes the idea for timetoplay.com.  She has this brainstorm, “If I feel this way, how many other people are in the same rut?”

So, to the present – I (with a lot of help from Leta) built timetoplay.com to help myself learn how to enjoy life, and I figured I’d take a million people along with me.  The timetoplay philosophy is you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance.  All these areas are so important, HOWEVER, you can’t just identify / realize that you have a problem or obstacle, but you have to learn things you can do and easily implement so you can fix the problem or obstacle and . . . bottom line. . . ENJOY LIFE!  After all, we’re all here for a short time. And so many of us seem to be tortured now a days — society’s gotten so many people down. No job, no money, struggling to make ends meet. WHO HAS THE TIME TO ENJOY LIFE? We have to make this a priority. We deserve to enjoy life. Think about it. We do.

I’ve built an amazing team of professionals from whom I’ve already learned so much, and I encourage you to check out the resources on timetoplay.com so you can, as I intend to, have a better life and to enjoy life.

Back to The Power of Now:  I’ve only just started reading this book.  On page 12, the paragraph reads: “. . .The inability to feel this connectedness gives rise to the illusion of separation, from yourself and from the world around you.  You then perceive yourself, consciously or unconsciously, as an isolated fragment.  Fear arises, and conflict within and without becomes the norm”.  This paragraph is regarding enlightenment.  The author is speaking about a disconnect we may feel with our God, spirituality, or our being.  BUT, I also believe it is a disconnect between each other.  So many of us feel the weight of the world on our shoulders.  Again, re: job, financial security or bills, taking care of the family, etc.  Even if that’s not it, maybe we feel alone.  So many of us are so isolated today.  This brings us to the discussion of prescription drugs and how people are using them as a crutch or band-aid.  I have talked about band-aids before in blogs or things I’ve written.  We don’t look for the root cause, which is one of the goals for timetoplay.com.  Now we go to a doctor and say we feel this way or that way and they write a prescription.  Is is the doctor’s fault a person is addicted to a medication (see article I had referenced, Antidepressants used by 11 percent of Americans: http://timetoplay.com/blog/?p=204).

No, it’s not all the doctors, but US, looking for a way to escape a reality we can’t handle.  A reality society has created and we have created, ourselves.  If people were happy and enjoying life, I really don’t think they would be taking the medications to try to cope.  Other coping mechanisms people use to escape or pacify themselves are eating, alcohol, sex, exercise, smoking, anything in excess.  Anything they can use to try to regain control.

So, join me in my quest.  Here’s the place to join in on the discussion forum under book club and book reviews: http://timetoplay.com/forum/showthread.php/63-THE-POWER-OF-NOW-by-Eckhart-Tolle?p=103#post103

Are you reading something that can help someone in their journey, as well?  Please post.  That’s the ultimate goal of timetoplay.com.  We all have something we can offer each other to help each other have a better life.  It’s time to enjoy life.

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Embrace the timetoplay.com philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have a better life.  It’s time to enjoy life.

Could Demi Moore Have Benefitted from www.timetoplay.com?

Image via Wikipedia

So, yesterday my husband was talking to someone who described what they thought www.timetoplay.com was.  She said she thought it was a networking site.  You know, that description does kind of describe it.  For anyone reading this, did you go to www.timetoplay.com yet?  If not, please do. 

How is timetoplay.com a networking site?  The intention of timetoplay.com is people-helping-people.  Networking is kind of that – ok, here’s an example. 

Did you see Demi Moore in the news today?  Without doing a lot of reading about the situation and basing my thoughts on what the reporters were talking about, we know she is divorcing Ashton Kucher.  The reporter was discussing how she has lost a lot of weight and described that she may be having an emotional crisis.  They showed a quote from Bazaar magazine where she said something like she may determine in the end that she is just not loveable.  She is sad – and you can see that her current situation is affecting her ability to enjoy life. 

How could timetoplay have helped?  I’m trying to put together a place where people can go where they won’t feel like they are isolated or alone.  A place for any of us to get the resources we need to enjoy life. 

The timetoplay philosophy is you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance.  On the site is Dr. Gelber, a relationship specialist like Dear Abby, and people like Jim Ryan and others who are Happiness specialists.  OK, so Demi Moore might be an extreme circumstance, but she is a person, and, like many of us, she is struggling with life issues that prohibit her from enjoying life. 

A few weeks ago I had a podcast with Jim Ryan and we discussed how our brain can be our enemy.  We all think and stew over things which affect our day and more.  Did you read that 25% of the women in America are on antidepressants? In Demi Moore’s situation, she has money but she does not have everything in the time to play philosophy – in this case, happiness.  So, I’m working on timetoplay.com to not only be able to provide people with information about fun, clubs they could go to, events (by the way, I need everyone to start inputting their information – events and clubs and activities into the calendar and clubs database so people can find them and come, too, so they can participate and be happy).  I’m putting together a place where we can help each other through things that timetoplay’s amazing professionals can offer and a place that might get us thinking on how we can make our lives better – to empower us. 

And I’m working on helping businesses and chambers, too.  Part of my thinking on this is that if you hate your job (or don’t have one) or you have a business that isn’t flourishing you can’t enjoy life.  There’s a new place on the discussion forum for a job exchange that I’m working on getting going, too.  If you have something you can add, or a job lead or need, please post click here. 

A networking site?  Yes.  To an extent.  But, also, an empowering site.  A place where we can all work together to succeed. 

We can’t wait for someone else to fix things.  We can’t wait for people to make us happy, healthy, have money or have a work life balance.  We have to work together to make this happen.

So, be part of the team to help 1 million people enjoy life.  Go on timetoplay.com and offer something you know or do that can help someone else.

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Embrace the www.timetoplay.com philosophy — you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work/life balance to have quality of life.  It’s time to enjoy life.  Check out www.timetoplay.com to see all the resources on there and all it has to offer.  And, please contribute – you have something to add that can help someone else.  We all need to be part of the team.

Time for US to Make Things Change

How many times can we think that someone is going to fix everything for us?  Do we really think a new president will fix it?  The current one will fix it?  ”The government will make new jobs”.  ”If we wait things will get better”.  Really?  Look at the overwhelming problems  everyone is facing today.  Without becoming political, it does seem frustrating that no one seems to be working together to “fix” stuff.  And, truly, we know that nothing can be done alone.  A baseball team has to be a team.  A football team has to be a team.  Or they won’t win.  That is the same with all of us.  We need to be a TEAM.

It’s no wonder that so many people are defeated.  They have given up.  Some have stopped listening.

So, what should we do?  Give up, too?  That’s not what people in America do.  We band together.  We work together.  We become a TEAM.  A team committed to helping each other enjoy life.

No job?  Should we wait for some big corporation to come in and employ everyone?  Does that work?  Look at the history where whole towns have died when industry leaves.  Or, other times, big employers seem to have you over a barrel (a nice way to say it, right?) when they negotiate salaries and layoffs, and people have no choice.  How about people becoming resourceful and developing their own jobs?  Maybe they can employ others?  Maybe they can build a TEAM?

Let’s keep thinking together.  Americans helping each other.  It’s what we do.  We’re all part of the TEAM.

OK, so there’s more — we constantly hear healthcare is bankrupting our Country and that the obesity epidemic is getting worse.  Many people need to take responsibility for themselves.  If we continue to be unhealthy it will only cost us more in taxes to care for ourselves.  More in taxes means we have to pay more.  Paying more means we have to work harder or make do with less.  I challenge you to do something.

Here’s another one.  How many people go to bed hungry every night?  There are so many AMAZING organizations out there who help.  Some pack backpacks for the kids to go home with at the end of the school week so they have food for over the weekend.  These are band aids and patches.  Not solutions.  Can our communities truly work together throughout the year, not just at holiday time, to figure out what we can do to solve the problems we face?  SOLVE is the key word, here.  Sure can!  We’re a TEAM!

We can go into each area of the timetoplay philosophy but it’s not my intention to preach.  Only to motivate each of us into action.  To work together.  To help each other succeed.  People helping people.  To be a TEAM.

Not Happy?  Do something about it.

Not Healthy? Do something about it.

No Money?  Do something about it.

No work life balance?  Do something about it.

There’s not just one solution but a bunch of different things, working together, that will make things change.  We know the problems.  It’s the power of the people that will make a difference.

What have you done today?  Who did you help?  Let us know (this is the link to the forum – let’s start to keep a tally).  I am building a team committed to a goal to help 1 million people.  And, although many of people feel alone in what they, individually, are facing, we are all part of the team.  If we work together, that’s just the beginning.

It’s time to enjoy life.

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Embrace the www.timetoplay.com philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  Become one of the team with a goal to help a million people.  It’s time to enjoy life.

Happiness Tips for 2012 — An Interview with Jim Ryan

It’s here.  The new year.  2012.

Each year seems to come around faster and faster.  Since starting www.timetoplay.com, I look to find resources to make life better.  I’m working hard to stop being a workaholic and trying to learn how to “play” and to enjoy life.  As I continue to ask questions I hope to pass along some things I learn from the amazing professionals I meet in my quest.

Meet Jim Ryan, an author, happiness expert and motivational speaker.  Jim and I met a few years ago when he spoke at a meeting I had attended.  Jim has spent a lifetime teaching and counseling people.  His life changed when he volunteered in a local prison to teach a course in personal development when he started sharing his message to a larger audience.  Jim was the first professional I invited to be a professional resource on the timetoplay.com project.

Jim’s intention is to spread “Simple Happiness”, which is the name of one of the books he has written.  Jim and I had a wonderful time discussing some of his lessons during our 30 minute podcast on 12/7/2011 (TimetoPlay.com’s Empower Half Hour).  It was taped — you can listen by clicking here.

Each week Jim emails his followers an “Aha Moment”.  It’s a quote or thought that makes you go, Aha!  Something easily implementable or thought provoking that can make your day, week or life better.  His book has 52 Aha Moments within its pages.  The 52 chapters were developed to enable a reader to take a chapter a week and practice what they learn to make their life happier.

Some chapters of Simple Happiness that provide fabulous information for us to say, “Aha” are the chapter on what makes you happy – Jim had noted in this chapter that some people can’t answer a question about what makes them happy.  What makes you happy?  Are you a person who can answer this question?  If not, Jim recommends you evaluate this, maybe reflect on the past about what has, in your life, made you happy. Everyone needs something that makes them happy.  Develop your passion.

Other chapters I enjoyed were the “do you have time” chapter, the “don’t make assumptions” chapter, the “is someone living in your head rent free” chapter, the “appreciate, appreciate, appreciate” chapter and the “follow your bliss chapter”.  During our podcast we discussed the Don’t Make Assumptions chapter (which kind of goes along with Is Someone Living in Your Head Rent Free chapter) .  I would guess most of us are hard on ourselves when we think we know what someone else thinks.  Maybe our thoughts are a result from a conversation, meeting, phone call, email that took place with that person.  Maybe you have thoughts resulting from NO conversation, return call or email and think you know why or what happened that there was no communication.  And, you feel bad.  In this circumstance, Jim said to notice your thoughts.  He said you have no idea what’s in another person’s head, and, many times, it isn’t actually as it seems.

We spent a bit of time discussing those who may be struggling in this economy.  Things can feel devastating or overpowering.  Jim’s advice:  It’s how we deal with what happens to us.  He said that, although it might be hard, try to make the best of your situation.  Note that what happened may not have been your fault, and might prove to actually be an amazing opportunity.  For example:, if you were laid off from your job, this might be the perfect time to evaluate what you would like to do with the rest of your life — it might actually be a silver lining.  Maybe you have an interest in another field you can now explore.  Jim suggested:

• volunteering, which makes people feel good, builds up self esteem and, you never know who you might meet.
• step back and reevaluate your career.
• picture yourself in the workforce and try not to dwell on negative thoughts.

Assignments for this, the beginning of 2012:

– Write down what you did well in 2011 .  Where did you experience growth?  Where did you have a positive experience?

– Goal Setting:  Write down 3 goals for each of 3 areas for what you would like to accomplish in 2012:  financially, material/fun and personally.  Read what you wrote a week later.  Pick out the 1 most important goal for each category.  Write it on a card and get it laminated.  Read it every day.  Carry it with you.  When you continue to think the same thoughts over and over again it encourages you — Jim said that we will accomplish what we think about most.  He said that, based on what’s on our mind, we’ll make choices in our daily lives that will help us make it happen.

Happy New Year.

I wish you a year of promise and happiness.

Doreen

“Definition of Old Age — When Regrets Take the Place of Dreams” – Jim Ryan

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Embrace the TimetoPlay philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work | life balance to have quality of life.  Timetoplay is a people helping people project — if we all work together we can help each other have a better life.  Check out http://www.timetoplay.com to see all the wonderful articles published by our amazing professionals.  It’s time to Enjoy Life.

Getting Through the Holidays Without Your Loved Ones

I know  how hard it is for people to be without loved ones during this time of year.  A few days ago I had the honor of having Ron Villano, a clinical psychotherapist, life & bereavement coach (and a professional resource on the www.timetoplay.com website under Happiness Professionals) join me in a podcast with the goal to help people get through the holidays if their loved ones were not with them.  That goes for whether your loved one lives far away, is in the military, or has passed away.

I figured I’d summarize some of the things we spoke about for those who  may not have had the ability to listen.  And, if you do want to listen, just click here:  Ron’s Podcast — it was recorded (it’s only 30  minutes).

So. . . Ron had many great things to say.  He has a quote, “When you choose to change your thoughts, you begin to change your life.”  That is something to really think about.  It truly is up to us to move forward — something that could be applied to all aspects of our life, right?

Ron’s son, Michael, lost his life in a car accident when he was 17 years old.  Ron had much pain after the loss of his son.  He noted that it takes time to heal and that you need to give yourself the time you need.  But, after many years, he realized that his son gave him life.  He lives by the mantra to honor your loved one’s life by living yours.

Some things we had discussed:

1. Acknowledge your feelings.  Just because it is holiday, you don’t have to force yourself to be happy.
2. Reach out.  If you feel lonely or isolated reach out.  There are volunteer opportunities or clubs or organizations where you can meet like-minded people.
3. Budget — Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.  Ron wrote an article  posted on his TimetoPlay page titled, Ho.. Ho… Oh no! December Spending. January Lending.  How to Keep your Holiday Buying in Control, which may prove helpful to some.
4. Seek professional help if you need it.  Ron noted that a licensed psychotherapist can provide support without passing judgement.  They really can help people sort things out.
5. Decorating/Traditions:  Ron said he didn’t decorate for Christmas for 9 years following the passing of his son.  Again, people have different ways of healing and their need for time should be respected.  An article I read on webmd.com, “Finding Holiday Joy Amid the Grief”, noted that people might find different ways of celebrating and making new traditions, that, maybe, doing what you always had done just doesn’t feel right.
6. Honor Your Loved One:  Some suggestions in the WebMD article were that people could honor their loved ones by lighting a special candle or focusing on the richness of a life well-lived.  Their comments were that, when you share stories about the person, you’re filling your heart with that person.  Ron spoke about the party he now has where he and his family and friends celebrate his Michael’s life.   He said it is amazing what a difference that has made.
7. Don’t abandon healthy habits – stay healthy:  Ron noted that it is very important to take care of yourself.  Eating healthy and exercise should be a part of that.

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For over a year I’ve been working on www.timetoplay.com, a HUGE project.  Since the end of September, it’s finally moving forward.  I thank the wonderful, amazing professionals I have “suckered in” to my project who are sharing their knowledge through their articles on the timetoplay site and volunteering to join me in the podcasts we started only 6 short weeks ago.  No one is paid for their participation (me either!).

As part of my midlife crisis , I have developed the timetoplay.com philosophy — you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  I feel many of us get wrapped up in working or things that get in the way, and these professionals can help us make our lives better.

It’s time for us to enjoy life.  Let me know what you need.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Doreen

email: doreen@timetoplay.com